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"You'll get castrated."

-Miami P.D

Miami has a police force that obviously doesn't give six shits about a lot of issues that happen every day in the city. Murder, robbery, rape, firearm discharge, cars driving without insurance, drunk drivers, prostitutes refusing sex, not getting money back for the crack you gave to some douchebag that ran off last Tuesday, you finally find them but they are at your house banging your wife, so you shoot him and skin your wife alive, dump the bodies in your car and drive north on I-95 and exit off to a remote area, burying the bodies 20ft underground and coming back at home only to find the wife's family at your door asking about her so you kill them too, and do the same as you did to the douchebag and the wife, cows masturbating, they don't care. You'd probably think that they care when you see them speeding to the scene and getting out of their vehicle to check, right? But guess what? They just walk around and look, not even bothering to ask one pedestrian what happened and who did it, what they were driving, etc. Instead, they proceed to shout insults at the bystanders for about 3 hours then run them over with their car 6 times before taking their mashed body back to the police station to fornicate it before dumping it in the nearby dumpster. Some retired officers say that they feel the fear of the victim on their penis, and the feel of fright increases once they have an orgasm. Keep in mind that this sort of action is far beyond police brutality.

The city only has one police department and you can enter it. You'll only see an officer typing away on his computer, probably typing in the title of the midget-loli-horse-incest-trap n' futa hentai he jerked off to last night. If approached, he will look at you if you face him. He does nothing at all unless you shoot him. Cunt'll draw out his shitty pistol, which is the one with 17 unlimited bullets. This officer can talk, besides saying all that "FUHREEEZ YERR AHNDERR URREST" shit, he talks in the very first mission, saying: "Firing range is all yours sir." That's the only shit he says, nothing else. Useless as fuck.

Inside the police department, you have a shooting room, a locker room, and two cells (not enough). Most of the space is in the lobby, which is the largest part of the department, yet it is so empty. Yeah, I don't get it either. They also have a garage with a few parking slots.

The force only hire those who probably have intermittent explosive disorder, ones who use LSD, or those who just like to plain kill people. The ones who ram into you severely and the ones whose cars blow up when in contact with the water are the ones with intermittent explosive disorder. The ones who swerve around and usually crash when responding, drive through buildings and have the ability to make their cars swim are the ones who use LSD. As mental and homicidal the police are, I wonder why do they even have a police force if they are this bad? But then here is the disadvantage: no police force means there is no protection. But then 90% of the time the force doesn't bother to protect its citizens. So it's pretty much a lose/lose situation there.

They get even worse in survival mode, where Tanner has to escape the officers with such intent to kill, but their behavior will be in another article.

With it's own fleet of old 1980's Dodge Diplomats (I don't know why they don't invest into newer cars), they assign two officers for 1 car. One drives and when an incident happens, the passenger gets out and looks around. But then if something else happens, the driver drives away leaving his partner, not even seeming to notice that they left them behind. Corruption and foolishness at its peak right there. You're supposed to care for your partner, not leave them behind.

The way they earn their money is crooked too. This is how it goes.

  • Kill 1 innocent pedestrian: $2,000 a week
  • Kill 10 innocent pedestrians: $5,000 a week
  • Wreck 3 civilian cars: $10,000 a week
  • Attempt to kill Tanner and succeed: $500,000 for life plus get 3 new cars and one mansion
  • Destroy all of Tanner's vehicles and steal from his home: $3,680,000 every day for life, 2 mansions, 4 new cars and your very own mountain

No wonder why they don't spend time trying to invest in newer, faster police cars. Because all their money is going to those who don't deserve this job.

"Oh, don't care what the others say about our force, they are all influenced by the media. Our true intention is to protect and serve this city to the maximum."

That quote up there was said by the sheriff, whose name I do not know. Just pay attention to all the lies in there. Completely unbelievable and so very not good.

Weapons are a very minor thing in this force, because all they pretty much care about is speeding in their police cars and causing havoc with them. They have a pistol, shotgun, and a machine gun. What did you expect? Did you expect me to put what type of model they are? I'm certain that most of you who came on this wiki are guys who already played the game and already know weapons they use.

Boats are a part of their force but they never use them because they hate them so much. They hate them to the point of making their cars go over the water. Pretty crazy right? I don't know why they have them if they don't even use them. Probably for decoration.

In conclusion, this is why the city of Miami in this game is so bad, and that there is a lack of traffic because the peds are too scared of the police.

Uniforms Edit

Police officer

This is their uniform

Okay, i dont really need to add anything here, you guys know how a police officer looks like, eh? all i can put here is that they have bulletproof vests that do not work. oh, and by the way, dont ask why i am typing like this. i can type however i want.

Trivia Edit

  • It is unknown why the force hates Tanner so much. From what I've heard, they hate him because he is more aggressive than the sheriff, who is supposed to be the most aggressive out of all of them. Pretty crazy, right?
  • They don't have name tags.
  • They don't have batons.
  • On the police radio during a chase, one of the fools chasing you may shout "MAYBE LEAKING GAS" if your car is badly damaged enough. It's either they are blind or the low I.Qs of the developers, because the cars do not leak fuel, another spicy detail the developers killed off.
    • The officers only use radios, there are not any computers in their cars. Quite sad really, because this is fucking 2004 guys.

Gallery Edit